LBGT: Let's Bash Gays Together

               I come in peace I swear, but let's discuss this title and give me a chance to explain. Picture this, we have this female for the sake of the example let's call her Pamela. Pamela grew up in a single parent home, it was a house full of women. Her mother was strong, so she did everything on her own. She raised Pamela and her sibling showing them the true meaning of "Girl Power" and instilled in them a strong sense of independence. Once Pamela got older and starting to experience physical attractions, women always gave her a stronger feeling. However Pamela was raised with very religious grandparents so she always fought with the "your going to hell if your're gay" feeling. So Pamela continued to go a and date guys and be the typical teenager. When Pamela turned 16 she met a guy. Everything a 16 year old ever wanted, he was in college, car, and job and he wanted her. As time progressed the relationship turned bad, so bad that she was raped by him. After years of praying, crying, healing, therapy and soul searching Pamela felt safe again to start dating. By this time she was in adulthood, and she had then grew apart from the religion yet still spiritually grounded, and decided she would fulfill this desire and the hidden love for women. Her first girl experience was just as mind blowing and soul touching as she imagined and she then knew, this is where her happiness lies.

             Now Pamela is at a point in her life where she finally feels comfortable standing in her truth and embrace the fact that she still had a slight attraction to men. Now does that attraction outweigh her attraction to women, nope not by a long shot however, she was willing to explore this attraction just to see if this is what she really wanted. After her first encounter with the opposite sex she was sure, more confident that if she must be labeled she is now bi-sexual. After the many years of her standing firm in her lesbian title, and being open enough to admit she was once a part of the "bash the bi's" club she was now on the other side *insert Adele Hello here*. For a while Pamela battled on who to tell, no one knew about her encounter and how much she enjoyed it because her dear close friends are not only lesbians, but masculine centered lesbians. Her thoughts would consist of, what would they say? Will they stay by my side or leave immediately? Would they now place me in the horrid stigma of bi-sexual women? It ate her up inside so finally she told them. The love and embrace was everything Pamela wanted and needed. Now Pamela knows that the rest of the world may not be so acceptive for many view bi-sexuals as "confused", but she had her those that loved her for her and now Pamela wakes up every morning living her truth.

                        Unlike Pamela not many can say they can wake up and live in their truth, and I believe in the LBGT community the B and the T seem to get shamed the most. This is not just in society but unfortunately within our own community. You would think since the rest of society already outcast and continuously frown upon us that we within the community would be more caring and supportive of our own. Yet on a daily basis whether it social media or even out in public I see my fellow brothers and sisters in the community frowning, and being nasty and derogatory towards our own. Its like the famous William Shakespeare play Julius Caesar, the quote "et tu, Brute" comes to mind. Now to sit and say that some under those 2 letters don't make it easy for the derogatory terms to be allowed is truth. Those that tend to withhold important information such as true gender identity, or not being upfront with where their attraction lies tend to happen often. Right now as I type there is a transgender man/woman who is talking to someone and not telling them their true gender, however that could be with anyone. Its a married man right now telling a single young woman he is "divorced" or "getting a divorce" with absolutely no intention on doing so. It's a female right now telling some single young man that her kids are her nieces and nephews, deception is everywhere. However this can not be a label put on everyone under these letters. There are transgender men/women who let you know up front who you are getting. There are bi-sexual women and men that will tell you upfront I am bi-sexual. There are those who live in their truth DAILY. I don't believe in one person being a representation for all, that asinine. Each are their own individual living comfortably in their own skin and will not be held back by any stigma period!

                         Many may agree and feel "well this is someone's preference why let what others think of them stop them?" Because let's be honest it does affect them some way. To look to at every social media outlet, and television and constantly see the continuous misconceptions being played and discussed affects those who are currently bi-sexual or transgender or would like to come out as bi-sexual or trans mental and emotional state. Speaking on my behalf, it wasn't easy at all. I had hella insecurities and the responses to the many questions that I was about to face. To be honest I didn't have the answers Sway, because I'm still in the learning process. A wise person once said "You learn something new everyday" and that includes yourself.  It was the harsh responses of previous associates that stood in their truth that had me scared. By all means, I have visions and goals and ideas to share with the world and damn it I want to taken seriously. It is a very difficult task when people are adding to the stigma on daily. I mean who's to say this isn't the beginning of a change? Hell what if my blog is the blog that cleared the hatred within our own community so that we may stand stronger in numbers for the real battle which is society. I mean a girl can dream huh? At the end of the day I'm responsible for me and my mark that I leave in the world. Although the hippie part of me wants us the L B G and T to all be standing proudly under that flag, its just not that easy. I know that me myself (Pamela) will definitely play my part in ending the stigma.







SwaggP

"Buzzworthy Cravings, Creatively Satisfied!"

Battle of the Sexes...of the Same Sex

I start this entry off with the love of God in my heart and the education of my own experiences just a slight disclaimer before I began. Now I have noticed this strange activity in any given place, whether it be a store, restaurant, public parks, and often in clubs or party settings. When another stud and/or masculine centered female or a femme and/or girly female enters into stated places have you found yourself maybe adjusting your collar or refreshing gloss does something deep down inside moves and feels the need to refresh themselves because competition has entered? I feel we are more territorial beings than we are willing to admit. Many can say "I'm comfortable with who I am" or "I dont do that" but whether it has been subconsciously or out of habit, we at one point felt in some form we had to prep for competition. Now by all means this is not just an LBGT community it is a common problem amongst humans period, however I focused with my community. Now my hopes for this blog is to get just a few questions answered:

                 1. Is there an underline issue that people refuse to acknowledge?
                 2. Is it really that hard to admit that someone looks better?
                 3. For those who are in relationship, why are you so uncomfortable in your relationship                           where you feel threatened?

Now some may say well those questions are just like unsolved mysteries, things that will never have an answer to, but you know it doesn't have to be that way if you would be honest. For the sake of this piece I'll start. I have and sometimes slip back into a competitive spirit. If I haven't been seen in said setting in a while I go out my way to be presentable. As someone who has played a few roles within the nightlife what once was a place to come to party and release the stress of the week has slowly became mini fashion shown unbeknownst. Now this is no current trend in the song from the great O'Jays Livin' For The Weekend he states "I put on my glad rags and hit the town"  now you have songs such as "I'mma hurt'em with a fit that cost a little more residence" (Gucci, Loius, Prada, Twista) which give folks these false pretense goals that they now have to go buy these labels to "stunt" on someone for a total of about 4 hours or so, and one thing I will mention is stunting leads to death sooner or later, but I digress. My question is once the club closes, and you got enough gas to maybe make it to the nearest relative house in hopes they will let you in and give you enough gas money to get home. All to hope on your way home you pray your lights are still on because you are wearing and slept in your light bill. Where do you go from there? When you got all dolled up and spent your child's daycare all for not to even get a "hey your cute", does that cause emptiness? Where does this Alpha attitude come from, and how far does it get you in life?  Now hear me out, back in my youth I felt that need. I felt that at the end of the day if I left with one hook up or a compliment my job was complete. I was in, I was "that girl"...that was until someone who didn't break a sweat buying the outfit she had on that cost my entire attire came in and then the stage light dimmed, and I had to follow the routine as I stated before going to my mama house in hopes she don't cuss me out about not managing my money. After a while however I realized that the comfort I feel knowing my bills are paid, and I have gas, and I have food and that my life goals was more deserving than those pair of shoes or that gorgeous dress, so then I started investing in myself where I know I will get financial gain and all the praise from the right people. Those people who believed in me from day 1, that is where my satisfaction lies. Fashion and fame will always be forever changing so I then start thinking "when it's my time, there will be an ensemble waiting for me." Let me say this if fashion is your passion this aint yes aint for you, follow your dreams we need continuous future designers in rotation, this is for those who try hard to mirror the hottest celebrity styles without that celebrity income, again digress.

Moving on, for those in relationship, it's ok because I know you're reading this alone its ok to say, yeah I do grab my mate a little closer when another lesbian woman enters the room, its the alpha in you or whatever lie or reason you feed yourself. However if you have a stable relationship where you know you have this person mind heart and soul then what is your purpose? If any intimidation comes over me when I'm with my mate then guess what we need to have a talk when we get home because somehow there is still some uncomfort in the relationship. I've heard a million times "The same thing you did to get her is what you need to do to keep her" I've also heard "They way you got her is the same way you will loose her". Which then leads me to think that you know karma is waiting on yo ass at tha doe!! If you live right though you worry less. When searching for real love you have to know that there is a risk each and every time you fall, the key is to find that one worth the risk and once yo do, the fear of anyone else coming between is long gone. It is only when yo know that you are not doing right by the code and ethics of love does worry come about. When is the last time you and your mate had a soul touching conversation? Where you and your partner sat and bared your soul, each others fears, each others goals, each others passions. These are some of the conversations that can be had to get rid of the alpha attitude and start being in a relationship of equal balance, where you both can come out in the same grace and style of queens and king, or queens and queens or which ever title suits your situation. So next time a female walks in take a moment, stop, breathe, and remind yourself that your queen is by your side and because of our deep conversation and deep connections nobody can tear that apart.

I end this extended rant and public service announcement to ask, what are you doing for your self to get more comfortable with you. The more you find comfort in yourself, nothing or no one else can move that. Let's leave the alpha title to the heterosexual men who still as adults cant get it right. Lets act accordingly please, as a solid unified group of individuals who should be setting examples of what true love is about. Let's open this discussion, I am open to all opinion, comments, questions, concerns hit me up at swaggalicioustells@gmail.com I would like to hear more from my readers.



Peace and Blessings
Swagg P























"Buzzworthy Cravings, Creatively Satisfied!"

Desire, Hostility, Delusion: A Cinematic Debut and Red Carpet Premier Press Release

PRESS RELEASE
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE – 05/17/2011

THE “NEW GAY” IN FILM
Red Carpet Film Premier of “Desire, Hostility, Delusion”, an Ink Media Film where films are created to focus on traditional life experiences, not the typical gay stereotypes.

(Houston, Texas) - Films that depict “Real Lives” and “Real Issues” in gay life could look like traditional families and their everyday issues. In the new film “Desire, Hostility, Delusion,” Writer/Director Lyndonne Payne, creates a storyline where the gay characters could easily be replaced with straight characters and the the issues would still be relevant. She is the newest break-out star whose hope is to create films that represent real world issues facing gays and lesbians to the big screen. Desire Hostility Delusion is our introduction into the lives of characters we will see once Payne begins filming a series that chronicles Real Lesbian Life. Payne says, “Films, where viewers can relate to the issues and appeal to any audience is the future of film making. The major differences are of course, the outcomes.“

In her Cinematic drama debut, Lyndonne Payne explores the lives of four women whose desperate attempts at achieving self fulfillment turn deadly. In the film, the character Gabby (Latoya Jarett) who is career driven and determined, takes violent and desperate measures to achieve her dream of having a child. Her partner, Cinematographer, Tess (Erica Gipson), is unwilling to give up the life she has worked so hard to establish; the two women find themselves in their ten year relationship with different agendas and aspirations for their future together. Their paths ultimately cross with Toni (Edith Morales) and Stacy (Charlene Cruse) who share a similar story. The film explores the issues of surrogacy, civil unions, domestic violence, friendships, addiction, loyalty, death and grief. These issues are faced in everyday life by individuals regardless of lifestyle. Hopefully, more film makers will make films that allow the world to see that gays and lesbians live regular lives and encounter issues that effect people in general.

Payne premier’s her debut film in her hometown of Houston, Texas where most of the actors reside. Payne, in collaboration with Star Management Group and Sweet Tooth Media has created a Red Carpet Screening Event which will feature 2 showings of the film.

When/Where: Sunday, June, 26, 2011 - TBH Theater- 333 Jensen Drive, Houston, Texas 77003
Press Check In: 3:00pm
Show #1: 4:00p – 5:30p
Champagne Reception: 5:30 – 6:30
Show #2: 6:30p – 8:00p
General Admission Seating: $10
VIP Seating: $15

The screening features a Champagne Reception Hosted by Performer and Activist, Mildred “DRED” Gerestant ( http://www.dredlove.com/ ) and a Meet and Greet with the actors during intermission. There will be future Red Carpet Screenings of the film in Dallas, Miami, Atlanta, DC, Las Vegas, New York and Chicago. To host a Red Carpet screening of this film in your city, contact Ink Media Productions: dhd@inkmediaproductions.com. Press materials available at http://www.desirehostilitydelusion.com/

"Buzzworthy Cravings, Creatively Satisfied!"