VH-1's Gossip Game's Vivian vs. Steph Lova: Opinion Based On Fact

 

 

VH-1 is no stranger to reality's drama and all its queens and kings. neither is it a stranger to talks about who's transgender or not. If you recall, on VH-1's Love and Hip Hop Atlanta it was rumored that Joseline Hernandez was a transgender woman. Remaining consistant, their newest reality show to grace the airwaves is The Gossip Game, which chronicles the Gossip Bloggers of Hip-Hop. Well into the season, showing on Monday nights, the latest episode has stirred a few feathers of those in the LGBTQ community. In Episode 5, gossip blogger,  Vivian Billings and former colleague, radio personality Steph Lova engage in a heated altercation centering around sexuality....that of Kayden, Vivian's son who is transgender and Steph Lova's possible lesbianism. On the show, Steph Lova publicly announced with intent to harm that Vivian shouldn't be concerned about her sexuality because she (Vivian) has a "daughter" who's a lesbian....This occured after Steph was taunted by Vivian's cousin accusing her wanting to do more than just work with Vivian. Realistically who cares if Steph Lova is a lesbian, hides or hones lesbian tendencies. The fact that she purposely "outed" Kayden on public television without his permission is tacky and forces the public to form an opinion. It doesn't matter the provocation, to bring up something clearly disclosed in confidence and on  much more personal note was such a low blow. In the world of psychology we call that act, deflection. In which a person deviates from the question of or if and place it on someone else that the world possibly doesn't know about, because they could never truly know about them.

As a lesbian who wasn't always sure of self, I can relate to Steph, and its clear that she is more than defensive about the discussion of her being a lesbian. Her act was more than alarming because, it showed her pain, her insecurity, and just how deep her struggle is.

In an interview with NewNowNext, Vivian and her son Kayden spoke candidly about the "outing". Vivian too believes that Steph's reaction is due to her own struggles with sexuality. As society progresses to understand, acknowledge and include the LGBTQ community, homophobia is still very much prevalent in Hip-Hop. Kayden stated on last Monday's episode that he isn't a lesbian, but a

transgender male. He reiterates to NNN that it was no secret but what makes it degrading is that it was announced publicly with the intent to hurt his mother, and he had absolutely nothing to do with Steph's and his mother's disagreement. Sadly in the Black community this type of behavior isn't uncommon. It has its remnants of the crab in the bucket syndrome, but what's deeper is that it comes from a place of hurt and shame. Hurt people, hurt people. It also forces us as a community to delve deeper into a spiritual place and have real, life conversations about issues that are still taboo. The problem is known and seen and its time for resolution.

One of the positives of what was intended for bad is that Steph's disclosure forced Kayden and Vivian to talk openly, publicly, and positively about sexuality. It showed acceptance, attempt, and aspiration to grow. Another positive in the midst of "coming out" is that we are at least talking about it because we see the effects it has on people of color. An underlying issue in the episode is that of Domestic Violence. Kayden referred to memories of seeing his mother beat. That too needs more discussion. Usually, reality shows are merely entertainment and that in and of itself is haunting. Enjoying
someone else's pain just to help us deflect from our own hurts us too. However, I see hope and thus light and life is before us.

"Buzzworthy Cravings, Creatively Satisfied!"

Dallas Mavericks and Brittney Griner: Paradoxical Potential

Mark Cuban is a name synonymous with words such as risky, outlandish, and bold. An avid business man and known "shark" is once again engaging in venturesome activity. Mark Cuban has announced that he is considering women's basketball star, Brittney Griner in the 2013 2nd round draft pick. Cuban states even if she isn't selected he's considering giving her a spot on the team's summer league squad. Cuban's logic behind sexually integrating the NBA is that there is great marketing opportunities and that she's the best option considering those players remaining after the 1st round draft pick. Cuban believes she's capable and wants to give her the opportunity to prove that she is.

Houston native, Brittney Griner has an impressive basketball record. The 6'8'' Baylor player has earned three consecutive Big 12 player of the year awards and she is the second all time scorer in Women's NCAA Division One basketball. She is arguably the most transcendent female college basketball player of all time. Noted for her athleticism and physicality, in a male dominated industry it is no wonder that she is also criticized for those same qualities. Often being likened to a man on the court, Brittney has received some negative feedback for her authority and achievement on the court. Responding to Cuban, with "lets do it" will equally get Griner praised and condemned.

The best part about this potential endeavor is that it speaks volumes

to the movement of equality. Though Cuban's move isn't pioneering in integrating the sexes in sports, it most certainly is a critical move during time of revolution. Let's think that Cuban's sole motivation for considering Griner isn't JUST marketing and earning opportunity, but maybe this move is revolutionary in that equality is based on skill and merit not sex or the perception of it. Maybe on the court he sees an outstanding, well deserving talent. However, there is still concern about the perils Griner will face if she makes it to the team. Sure we'd like to think that we live in a day and time in which women can do the same things a man can do probably better because women think differently. And while this "new" way have thinking has done some wonderful things for women, femininity and the female empowerment movement, Griner being accepted as a part of the Dallas Mavericks would only add to the de-feminizing rhetoric that she's already been exposed to. For a moment, I thought that the WNBA no longer existed. Certainly we know of the inequalities that exists between the WNBA and the NBA such as salary, air time and the like. If she makes it to the NBA what will that mean for the WNBA? Will it be no more? Will other women players seek try out opportunities in the NBA before considering the WNBA? Will women become more susceptible to negative innuendos from those currently players and the low-level players that are chosen after a girl? We all know the effects of misogynistic bullying and the outcome could be a major fall out for women's liberation movement, but I think its worth the risk.

The key for all women and sports fans alike is to remain optimistic that the Cuban along with team officials will be make the best choice. I'm sure that Griner, will bring her best with her to try outs.

"Buzzworthy Cravings, Creatively Satisfied!"

Queen Bey: Says Bow Down...as H-Town Stands Up

Well if you want to see how fast someone's panties can get in a bunch all you need to do is something outside of the box that they put you in and almost instantly, panties worn by hypocrites  self- proclaimed judges, and delusional gods all simultaneously synchronize into this decades worst wedgies. If that's to much work, we could always ask Beyonce'. Mrs. Carter has long been the topic of discussion, hate, praise and everything in between. Her latest opinion jerker is her single, Bow Down from her Blue Ivy album.

Re-introducing fans to Sasha Fierce, it seems that Queen Bey brought every bottled "Read" that she'd been harboring during her stint of political correctedness (Yea, I made that Up). She may just earn another fan with this song, however. Prior to the release of this single, Bey remained relevant, after receiving publicity about her inaugural performance and then her show stopping performance at the Super Bowl. After stirring up the gossip mills and brews, Bey does it again a midst what appears to be more of a fan fueled twitter beef with Keshia Cole. Cole criticizes Queen Bey for not being "consistent" enough in the public display of class. But she isn't the only one displeased with Beyonce's alter ego returning. Some of Bey's fans seem to like the "prude" high society presentation that she gives the world and according to Facebook posts and status updates, this song Bow Down was "out of character" for her and possibly knocks her out of the race to be America's Next Best Role Model. Have fans forgot other edgy songs with the Queen Bey stamp on it such as Bills, Irreplaceable, Ego, and Diva? While all address a woman-centered topic and range from one end of the ratchet spectrum to another, its all a matter of perception. Bow Down is another knot on that belt...But when was an instruction manual released on operating the box that they've built and put her in? It is no secret that many people view celebrities in a light specific to their experiences, and while I have never been a huge Bey fan, I think that her "new" naysayers are disappointed in their glorified perception of the image they created for her.

Any and all artists should be able to create and perform without censorship. Its not the artist fault that people get offended by their creative expressions or truths. For Bey, Now should be no exception. Bey has actually earned the right to say what needs to be said in the way that she want to be say it.  I actually think this track is rather strategic...genius even. Returning to the her down south roots, she samples Texas greats such as UGK and shouts out Willie D. She reclaims a shakeable home base and rekindle the fire. Further more, Bow Down shows the rest of the world that she is human, not super human. Hats off to you Bey for doing what you want to do!!!

"Buzzworthy Cravings, Creatively Satisfied!"

When Reality TV ACTUALLY Forces A Reality Check: Transgendered Breakthroughs- Loving Laverne Cox

When it comes to reality television there's a myriad of opinions, just as there are of anything revealing the ugly truth forcing the sleepwalkers to really look at their pretty lies. This makes people uncomfortable. While the focus here could be on the hate spewed at all things different or "abnormal", its imperative that revolutionary accomplishments be highlighted. After all it is Black History Month and the month of love and us here at Sweet Tooth Media, just LOVE cultural trendsetters.

Browsing through the net looking for the latest in black entertainment and I run across this Huffington Post article on Laverne Cox. Laverne is the first African-American transgender woman to produce and star in her own television show. Getting her start on VH1's I Want To Work For Diddy, she made history being the first African American transgender woman to appear on a reality television. That led to her landing a starring and producing role in the spin off, TRANSform Me. Making her stride in history and on the screen, Laverne has appeared in the independent feature film, Musical Chairs in which she was nominated for the GLAAD Media Award, The Exhibitionists, and two movies not yet released, “36 Saints” and “Grand Street." Laverne guest starred on Law and Order SVU and other television shows. Ms. Cox has been quite the pioneer for LGBTQ representation in television.

So, I find it rather alarming that she hasn't been supported by the very community she is providing a voice for. Laverne states that the Trans community heavily criticized her for her role in TRANSform Me. While she expected from the African American community she didn't from the community in whence she came. This is alarming in the age of the demand for equal rights for all citizens. As a devout and proud member of the LGBTQ community, I don't understand the cry for equality from those outside of the community, when inside of the community we're at such a disarray. Nevertheless, Ms. Cox shifted her focus from the opinion of others to self-love and acceptance. Reminding us all that our journey belongs to us and only us, anyone else is lucky enough to catch a ride. This re-routing of energy has led to various other opportunities for Ms. Cox and I'm more than interested to see the rest of her work with the world.


Photos Courtesy of www.LaverneCox.com

"Buzzworthy Cravings, Creatively Satisfied!"

Show Me You Love Me: The Punany Poets Public Display of Affection Tour

Jessica Holter, Author / Producer / Activist and Creator of the Punany Poets is one of the most marvelous women, whom I've had the pleasure of working with. As a multifaceted, multi-talented writer, that has connected her passion to her purpose Jessica continues to produce some of the most amazing shows in the world. Addressing taboo topics in minority communities, more specifically, African-American communities, she faces some criticisms, however, she takes pride in being totally supported by her fan base. In a time where HIV/AIDS cases exist at an alarming rate, Jessica, approaches the topic seductively and poetically, to bring awareness to the epidemic that has been infectious in our community. Jessica's lyrical attack on the subject matter has been just as infectious. Engaging audiences across the globe, Jessica and the Punany Poets, performs on a platform that encourages couples to open up lines of communication, experience sheer sensuality and have a healthy and productive sexual relationship. Jessica states, that ..."knowledge is freedom and we cant continue living in ignorance with education readily made available to us..."


Her latest adventure is the 2013 PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION TOUR and is coming to a city and venue near you!!! Jessica Holter's The Punany Poets star in The Punany Experience, A scintillating showcase of Storytelling, Erotic Verse, Comedy, Theatrics Exotic Dance (Adult Language, Artistic Nudity, Audience Interaction *Adults Only) Catch the Newest Punany Poet, MsNightLyfe on the Public Displays of Affection Tour! The 2013 PUBLIC DSPLAYS OF AFFECTION TOUR is a three-movement suite of Poetry, Song, Spoken Word, and Dramatizaton. The individual movements within the 2013 PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION are as follows: The PUNANY EXPERIENCE, The HEAD DOCTOR SHOW, and The SECRET Of The PEARL. Catch the Show ANY WHERE!!!

To Purchase tickets visit www.PunanyTickets.com 

"Buzzworthy Cravings, Creatively Satisfied!"

Valentine's Day: Loving YOURSELF to Pieces!

Valentine's Day is quickly approaching and for all the lovers out there its a wonderful thing. Mates join in the commercialized hustle and bustle to show their significant other JUST how much they love them as they profess all for the world to see. For the skeptics and singles, Valentine's Day is OverRated and is viewed as just another day. While both of those extremes are present, I come to aid the "gray matters" in arriving at a common ground. Being single during any celebratory occasion can be quite disappointing, but that's only for the pessimists of the world. Who better than to spend the day of Love with, than the person you love the most: Yourself?

To see the world differently, we must change our perception and thought process. Not having a date on Valentine's day isn't the end of the world. As a matter of fact, being alone on V-Day can be just as much fun as hanging out with some random date or the person you've been meaning to break up with for months but don’t have the balls to do it. Being alone is cheaper, easier and probably a hell of a better idea. Now one may ask what in the world can I do on V-Day to ensure that I'm not dwelling on the fact that I'm alone...The answer is simple, you can do plenty. As a lover of all things self, it no longer bothers me to see others happy and in love. It restores my faith in the existence of true love and provides me with that flicker of hope that a love interest that shares my vision will come along. So, don't focus on the PDA shown by lovers around you, internalize that and show yourself a little PDA as its necessary to lover yourself so much that you allow others the temporary enjoyment of your company. In lieu of Valentine's Day AND the Punany Poets Public Displays of Affection Tour, I recommend the following PRIOR to Valentine's Day.

1. Put yourself in a position to meet other singles- It is important to understand that YOU ARE NOT ALONE! There are thousands of available singles out there just like you and just like retailers capitalize on V-Day, matching services, party promoters, and the like also capitalize on your singledom by offering a variety of events to attend. In creating events where others, like you are just wanting to have a good time and mingle, planners understand the need to target the singles. Plan to attend these events, you may meet total jerks but you may also meet a few good ones. Either way enjoy the moment. 

2. Enjoy your singledom...DATE as many or as few people as you would like to! By now you should have had time to mentally prepare yourself for being "alone" on V-Day. In that preparation your suitors or suitees await the moment to spend as much or as little time with you as you allow. So, schedule at least three dates for V-Day. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having breakfast, lunch and dinner with a different person in one day. Its fun, reassuring, and allows others to have a sample of  the best you. 

3. Treat YOURSELF- Take yourself on a date! Enjoy all those things that you have really been wanting to do. Have cocktails, do something daring, or plan to spend a quite evening at home with tons of "toys". Whatever it is, no one will treat you better than you. 





Loving you, makes it easy for others to love you too...Know your worth. 




"Buzzworthy Cravings, Creatively Satisfied!"

Fantasia Barrino, Throwing Stones from her Glass House Balcony

 

 

It isn’t uncommon that the New Year brings resolutions and reflections for everyone. This includes politicians that are able to reach decisions concerning the lives of millions of people that entrust their livelihoods to folks that have never lived a day in their lives as well as celebrities that believe that their shit don’t stank' until they are waist deep face down in it. It seems that Fantasia Barrino placed her manure covered foot in her mouth. On Monday, December 31^st (New Years Eve), Fantasia decided to release her ill feelings regarding other’s opinions of the mess that has now become her life. During a time that most are reflecting, Fantasia started a new trend with deflecting. It is no secret that Fantasia, destroyed a marriage, laid down her religious upbringing, and violated every woman code that exists to have her slice of someone else’s pie. Despite her obvious disrespect of something as sacred as marriage, her amazing talent has kept fans of all backgrounds and preferences interested in her. So it is no wonder that her latest unintelligible move is being considered offensive.

 

On instagram , Fantasia posted that “The whole world has gone mad” in a deflective rant that eludes to the judgment of the legalization of gay marriage and marijuana in some states.It seems that instead of focusing on her own role in the outcome of her situation she has decided to focus on the opinions of others that won’t in fact un-do what she did. Certainly we can all understand that what someone thinks of us is irrelevant when we have accepted responsibility for our own short comings and come to terms with them. There is no need to play defense when our offense is strong. This instagram message seems that Fantasia hasn’t come very far in her healing, being defensive. But in her pain, she’s resorted to hurting others. Now while her publicists have already issued statements from the singer, recanting her outbursts …http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/idol-worship/american-idols-fantasia-barrino-clarifies-407367 The damage has already been done.

The saddest part of this is that she was simply being honest, and her honesty was considered offensive. Fantasia hasn’t yet mastered the concept of, with freedom, comes great responsibility. She is absolutely free to say whatever she wants, it’s not her problem to how it’s perceived by others, YET, at what cost was it done? Trying to get out of the path of judgment can’t be done judging others. It’s greater than the pot calling the kettle black because sin is sin. No sin is greater than the other. For some in the LGBT community, it was a little harsh. What does the legalization of gay marriage have to do with the fact that she was being judged for committing adultery and having two children out of wedlock? Marriage on any level should never come out of Fantasia’s mouth. What’s so angering is that people with no regards for the sanctity of marriage, love, and those involved have an opinion about what marriage is and isn’t.  No one’s judging, just saying, how can the finger belonging to one sinner be pointed at another sinner, no matter the vice?  So let’s consider, she wasn’t judging because she doesn’t want to be judged…Was she “Just Saying?” If so, what was she saying? Children are always told to think before they speak, a lesson that Fantasia needs a refresher on.  You can’t throw stones and hide your hands from your balcony when you live in a glass house for it will shatter beneath your feet and consume you with it. As 50 Cent says, if you have a glass jaw, keep your mouth closed...

                

"Buzzworthy Cravings, Creatively Satisfied!"