Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Battle of the Sexes...of the Same Sex

I start this entry off with the love of God in my heart and the education of my own experiences just a slight disclaimer before I began. Now I have noticed this strange activity in any given place, whether it be a store, restaurant, public parks, and often in clubs or party settings. When another stud and/or masculine centered female or a femme and/or girly female enters into stated places have you found yourself maybe adjusting your collar or refreshing gloss does something deep down inside moves and feels the need to refresh themselves because competition has entered? I feel we are more territorial beings than we are willing to admit. Many can say "I'm comfortable with who I am" or "I dont do that" but whether it has been subconsciously or out of habit, we at one point felt in some form we had to prep for competition. Now by all means this is not just an LBGT community it is a common problem amongst humans period, however I focused with my community. Now my hopes for this blog is to get just a few questions answered:

                 1. Is there an underline issue that people refuse to acknowledge?
                 2. Is it really that hard to admit that someone looks better?
                 3. For those who are in relationship, why are you so uncomfortable in your relationship                           where you feel threatened?

Now some may say well those questions are just like unsolved mysteries, things that will never have an answer to, but you know it doesn't have to be that way if you would be honest. For the sake of this piece I'll start. I have and sometimes slip back into a competitive spirit. If I haven't been seen in said setting in a while I go out my way to be presentable. As someone who has played a few roles within the nightlife what once was a place to come to party and release the stress of the week has slowly became mini fashion shown unbeknownst. Now this is no current trend in the song from the great O'Jays Livin' For The Weekend he states "I put on my glad rags and hit the town"  now you have songs such as "I'mma hurt'em with a fit that cost a little more residence" (Gucci, Loius, Prada, Twista) which give folks these false pretense goals that they now have to go buy these labels to "stunt" on someone for a total of about 4 hours or so, and one thing I will mention is stunting leads to death sooner or later, but I digress. My question is once the club closes, and you got enough gas to maybe make it to the nearest relative house in hopes they will let you in and give you enough gas money to get home. All to hope on your way home you pray your lights are still on because you are wearing and slept in your light bill. Where do you go from there? When you got all dolled up and spent your child's daycare all for not to even get a "hey your cute", does that cause emptiness? Where does this Alpha attitude come from, and how far does it get you in life?  Now hear me out, back in my youth I felt that need. I felt that at the end of the day if I left with one hook up or a compliment my job was complete. I was in, I was "that girl"...that was until someone who didn't break a sweat buying the outfit she had on that cost my entire attire came in and then the stage light dimmed, and I had to follow the routine as I stated before going to my mama house in hopes she don't cuss me out about not managing my money. After a while however I realized that the comfort I feel knowing my bills are paid, and I have gas, and I have food and that my life goals was more deserving than those pair of shoes or that gorgeous dress, so then I started investing in myself where I know I will get financial gain and all the praise from the right people. Those people who believed in me from day 1, that is where my satisfaction lies. Fashion and fame will always be forever changing so I then start thinking "when it's my time, there will be an ensemble waiting for me." Let me say this if fashion is your passion this aint yes aint for you, follow your dreams we need continuous future designers in rotation, this is for those who try hard to mirror the hottest celebrity styles without that celebrity income, again digress.

Moving on, for those in relationship, it's ok because I know you're reading this alone its ok to say, yeah I do grab my mate a little closer when another lesbian woman enters the room, its the alpha in you or whatever lie or reason you feed yourself. However if you have a stable relationship where you know you have this person mind heart and soul then what is your purpose? If any intimidation comes over me when I'm with my mate then guess what we need to have a talk when we get home because somehow there is still some uncomfort in the relationship. I've heard a million times "The same thing you did to get her is what you need to do to keep her" I've also heard "They way you got her is the same way you will loose her". Which then leads me to think that you know karma is waiting on yo ass at tha doe!! If you live right though you worry less. When searching for real love you have to know that there is a risk each and every time you fall, the key is to find that one worth the risk and once yo do, the fear of anyone else coming between is long gone. It is only when yo know that you are not doing right by the code and ethics of love does worry come about. When is the last time you and your mate had a soul touching conversation? Where you and your partner sat and bared your soul, each others fears, each others goals, each others passions. These are some of the conversations that can be had to get rid of the alpha attitude and start being in a relationship of equal balance, where you both can come out in the same grace and style of queens and king, or queens and queens or which ever title suits your situation. So next time a female walks in take a moment, stop, breathe, and remind yourself that your queen is by your side and because of our deep conversation and deep connections nobody can tear that apart.

I end this extended rant and public service announcement to ask, what are you doing for your self to get more comfortable with you. The more you find comfort in yourself, nothing or no one else can move that. Let's leave the alpha title to the heterosexual men who still as adults cant get it right. Lets act accordingly please, as a solid unified group of individuals who should be setting examples of what true love is about. Let's open this discussion, I am open to all opinion, comments, questions, concerns hit me up at I would like to hear more from my readers.

Peace and Blessings
Swagg P

"Buzzworthy Cravings, Creatively Satisfied!"

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