Tuesday, January 26, 2016

LBGT: Let's Bash Gays Together

               I come in peace I swear, but let's discuss this title and give me a chance to explain. Picture this, we have this female for the sake of the example let's call her Pamela. Pamela grew up in a single parent home, it was a house full of women. Her mother was strong, so she did everything on her own. She raised Pamela and her sibling showing them the true meaning of "Girl Power" and instilled in them a strong sense of independence. Once Pamela got older and starting to experience physical attractions, women always gave her a stronger feeling. However Pamela was raised with very religious grandparents so she always fought with the "your going to hell if your're gay" feeling. So Pamela continued to go a and date guys and be the typical teenager. When Pamela turned 16 she met a guy. Everything a 16 year old ever wanted, he was in college, car, and job and he wanted her. As time progressed the relationship turned bad, so bad that she was raped by him. After years of praying, crying, healing, therapy and soul searching Pamela felt safe again to start dating. By this time she was in adulthood, and she had then grew apart from the religion yet still spiritually grounded, and decided she would fulfill this desire and the hidden love for women. Her first girl experience was just as mind blowing and soul touching as she imagined and she then knew, this is where her happiness lies.

             Now Pamela is at a point in her life where she finally feels comfortable standing in her truth and embrace the fact that she still had a slight attraction to men. Now does that attraction outweigh her attraction to women, nope not by a long shot however, she was willing to explore this attraction just to see if this is what she really wanted. After her first encounter with the opposite sex she was sure, more confident that if she must be labeled she is now bi-sexual. After the many years of her standing firm in her lesbian title, and being open enough to admit she was once a part of the "bash the bi's" club she was now on the other side *insert Adele Hello here*. For a while Pamela battled on who to tell, no one knew about her encounter and how much she enjoyed it because her dear close friends are not only lesbians, but masculine centered lesbians. Her thoughts would consist of, what would they say? Will they stay by my side or leave immediately? Would they now place me in the horrid stigma of bi-sexual women? It ate her up inside so finally she told them. The love and embrace was everything Pamela wanted and needed. Now Pamela knows that the rest of the world may not be so acceptive for many view bi-sexuals as "confused", but she had her those that loved her for her and now Pamela wakes up every morning living her truth.

                        Unlike Pamela not many can say they can wake up and live in their truth, and I believe in the LBGT community the B and the T seem to get shamed the most. This is not just in society but unfortunately within our own community. You would think since the rest of society already outcast and continuously frown upon us that we within the community would be more caring and supportive of our own. Yet on a daily basis whether it social media or even out in public I see my fellow brothers and sisters in the community frowning, and being nasty and derogatory towards our own. Its like the famous William Shakespeare play Julius Caesar, the quote "et tu, Brute" comes to mind. Now to sit and say that some under those 2 letters don't make it easy for the derogatory terms to be allowed is truth. Those that tend to withhold important information such as true gender identity, or not being upfront with where their attraction lies tend to happen often. Right now as I type there is a transgender man/woman who is talking to someone and not telling them their true gender, however that could be with anyone. Its a married man right now telling a single young woman he is "divorced" or "getting a divorce" with absolutely no intention on doing so. It's a female right now telling some single young man that her kids are her nieces and nephews, deception is everywhere. However this can not be a label put on everyone under these letters. There are transgender men/women who let you know up front who you are getting. There are bi-sexual women and men that will tell you upfront I am bi-sexual. There are those who live in their truth DAILY. I don't believe in one person being a representation for all, that asinine. Each are their own individual living comfortably in their own skin and will not be held back by any stigma period!

                         Many may agree and feel "well this is someone's preference why let what others think of them stop them?" Because let's be honest it does affect them some way. To look to at every social media outlet, and television and constantly see the continuous misconceptions being played and discussed affects those who are currently bi-sexual or transgender or would like to come out as bi-sexual or trans mental and emotional state. Speaking on my behalf, it wasn't easy at all. I had hella insecurities and the responses to the many questions that I was about to face. To be honest I didn't have the answers Sway, because I'm still in the learning process. A wise person once said "You learn something new everyday" and that includes yourself.  It was the harsh responses of previous associates that stood in their truth that had me scared. By all means, I have visions and goals and ideas to share with the world and damn it I want to taken seriously. It is a very difficult task when people are adding to the stigma on daily. I mean who's to say this isn't the beginning of a change? Hell what if my blog is the blog that cleared the hatred within our own community so that we may stand stronger in numbers for the real battle which is society. I mean a girl can dream huh? At the end of the day I'm responsible for me and my mark that I leave in the world. Although the hippie part of me wants us the L B G and T to all be standing proudly under that flag, its just not that easy. I know that me myself (Pamela) will definitely play my part in ending the stigma.


"Buzzworthy Cravings, Creatively Satisfied!"

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