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Tuesday, January 26, 2016

LBGT: Let's Bash Gays Together


               I come in peace I swear, but let's discuss this title and give me a chance to explain. Picture this, we have this female for the sake of the example let's call her Pamela. Pamela grew up in a single parent home, it was a house full of women. Her mother was strong, so she did everything on her own. She raised Pamela and her sibling showing them the true meaning of "Girl Power" and instilled in them a strong sense of independence. Once Pamela got older and starting to experience physical attractions, women always gave her a stronger feeling. However Pamela was raised with very religious grandparents so she always fought with the "your going to hell if your're gay" feeling. So Pamela continued to go a and date guys and be the typical teenager. When Pamela turned 16 she met a guy. Everything a 16 year old ever wanted, he was in college, car, and job and he wanted her. As time progressed the relationship turned bad, so bad that she was raped by him. After years of praying, crying, healing, therapy and soul searching Pamela felt safe again to start dating. By this time she was in adulthood, and she had then grew apart from the religion yet still spiritually grounded, and decided she would fulfill this desire and the hidden love for women. Her first girl experience was just as mind blowing and soul touching as she imagined and she then knew, this is where her happiness lies.

             Now Pamela is at a point in her life where she finally feels comfortable standing in her truth and embrace the fact that she still had a slight attraction to men. Now does that attraction outweigh her attraction to women, nope not by a long shot however, she was willing to explore this attraction just to see if this is what she really wanted. After her first encounter with the opposite sex she was sure, more confident that if she must be labeled she is now bi-sexual. After the many years of her standing firm in her lesbian title, and being open enough to admit she was once a part of the "bash the bi's" club she was now on the other side *insert Adele Hello here*. For a while Pamela battled on who to tell, no one knew about her encounter and how much she enjoyed it because her dear close friends are not only lesbians, but masculine centered lesbians. Her thoughts would consist of, what would they say? Will they stay by my side or leave immediately? Would they now place me in the horrid stigma of bi-sexual women? It ate her up inside so finally she told them. The love and embrace was everything Pamela wanted and needed. Now Pamela knows that the rest of the world may not be so acceptive for many view bi-sexuals as "confused", but she had her those that loved her for her and now Pamela wakes up every morning living her truth.

                        Unlike Pamela not many can say they can wake up and live in their truth, and I believe in the LBGT community the B and the T seem to get shamed the most. This is not just in society but unfortunately within our own community. You would think since the rest of society already outcast and continuously frown upon us that we within the community would be more caring and supportive of our own. Yet on a daily basis whether it social media or even out in public I see my fellow brothers and sisters in the community frowning, and being nasty and derogatory towards our own. Its like the famous William Shakespeare play Julius Caesar, the quote "et tu, Brute" comes to mind. Now to sit and say that some under those 2 letters don't make it easy for the derogatory terms to be allowed is truth. Those that tend to withhold important information such as true gender identity, or not being upfront with where their attraction lies tend to happen often. Right now as I type there is a transgender man/woman who is talking to someone and not telling them their true gender, however that could be with anyone. Its a married man right now telling a single young woman he is "divorced" or "getting a divorce" with absolutely no intention on doing so. It's a female right now telling some single young man that her kids are her nieces and nephews, deception is everywhere. However this can not be a label put on everyone under these letters. There are transgender men/women who let you know up front who you are getting. There are bi-sexual women and men that will tell you upfront I am bi-sexual. There are those who live in their truth DAILY. I don't believe in one person being a representation for all, that asinine. Each are their own individual living comfortably in their own skin and will not be held back by any stigma period!

                         Many may agree and feel "well this is someone's preference why let what others think of them stop them?" Because let's be honest it does affect them some way. To look to at every social media outlet, and television and constantly see the continuous misconceptions being played and discussed affects those who are currently bi-sexual or transgender or would like to come out as bi-sexual or trans mental and emotional state. Speaking on my behalf, it wasn't easy at all. I had hella insecurities and the responses to the many questions that I was about to face. To be honest I didn't have the answers Sway, because I'm still in the learning process. A wise person once said "You learn something new everyday" and that includes yourself.  It was the harsh responses of previous associates that stood in their truth that had me scared. By all means, I have visions and goals and ideas to share with the world and damn it I want to taken seriously. It is a very difficult task when people are adding to the stigma on daily. I mean who's to say this isn't the beginning of a change? Hell what if my blog is the blog that cleared the hatred within our own community so that we may stand stronger in numbers for the real battle which is society. I mean a girl can dream huh? At the end of the day I'm responsible for me and my mark that I leave in the world. Although the hippie part of me wants us the L B G and T to all be standing proudly under that flag, its just not that easy. I know that me myself (Pamela) will definitely play my part in ending the stigma.







SwaggP

"Buzzworthy Cravings, Creatively Satisfied!"

Monday, January 11, 2016

Write The Vision

" A man without a vision is a man without a future. A man without a future will always return to his past." -P.K. Bernard. As the year came to a close I have saw a few of my visions come to pass that I didn't really see coming. However, I still have work that needs to be done on a personal and career level. I tend to set goals and have visions in my mind often and I do everything with them but write them down. By the time the opportunity comes around, well everything that shouldn't have sidetracked me did and now I don't remember anything. It sucks, it's frustrating, and makes me feel that maybe that opportunity may not come back around. So one of the many changes I have decided starting the new year is what I want to call the write out. Now I'm not coming with the typical "new year new me bladah bladah bladah" but yet discipline myself today for a better tomorrow. So I ask have you written out your vision board yet?

Now some may have already heard and started or already completed your board. For a few you may not be sure on where to start. Well here are a few things to keep in mind while planning out your vision board.

1. A vision board is everything you've envisioned in plain site. When you close your eyes and daydream, or when you calculate a plan you typically in your head see how its going to turn out through your eyes. So why not print out what you see. Whether it be finishing school, traveling more, reconnecting with someone or something. Whatever it may be that puts a fire under you and fills your heart with joy. That constant thought, that is what is called your vision.

2. Nothing is too big or too small, don't minimize anything If it's Paris for summer vacation then put up all the sights you want to see when you get there. If its a BMW put up a photo of the exact car you want. You want to see the things that motivate you to do more in life. Some may say speaking it into existence (Isaiah 55:11- So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return  unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper [in the thing] whereto I sent it) those fluid in faith understands this and how important it is when making your vision plain.

3. A little information is better than none. Start finding out the beginning steps to make the vision come to life. I'm currently working on a shirt line that caters to the plus size community. I have already started looking into what's needed to start this the right way, and I feel so close to this vision being complete. So whether it's a restaurant or even a non-profit organization start finding out things that you can do right now to get that started.

4. I believe that it's ok to have 2 boards, one for the parents and one for kids. Parents can then set goals for themselves outside the family. Spa Ma Days and for my single fathers Daddy's Duty-less Day. Set plans as a family such as 2 vacations this year instead of 1. To spend more time talking to each other before it gets to a point where everyone is talking at each other. For couples start making date nights more frequent. Listen to your mate as they speak in general conversations and surprise them with a creative date or the date of their dreams. At the end of the day don't forget the things that made you a family. Kids are included, start them early. Whether it's all A's throughout the first semester, or maybe being more active in school (clubs, bands, sports), or preparing for college whatever their vision is help them put it on a board. Make it a family date and everyone work on their board together.

5. When it comes to finance, print out any of the many saving challenges. Choose the one that fits perfectly with your finances, there is such a large variety that way you don't have to try to do something that is not within range. I found the most helpful one on https://www.pinterest.com/explore/savings-challenge/ 

At the end of the day a vision board is there as a reminder not to take the eyes off of the prize. Remember not to let negative energy and people around you while in the process of completing your goals. Start on the small things now like knowledge and the beginning steps, because we must crawl before we walk. But after a while the small stuff can then lead to bigger things, things that will bring you one step closer to your vision. Stay strong, stay focused, you got this!
                                   




Peace And Blessings
Swagg P
"Buzzworthy Cravings, Creatively Satisfied!"