Sunday, December 27, 2015

End Of The Year Reaches

Well readers we are all at the wonderful time of the year where everyone with a social media account goes on an entirely long list of what they are not going to do in 2016, and now memes have made it even more convenient. Now Im not the one to say whether out not that person will or will not do so but according to Forbes approximately 8% of people actually keep their New Years Resolution, mighty dim right? You also have your closures, those that just need to clean and clear out their conscience because bringing that into the new year is not an option. Now keep in mind some people take this time of the year to "feasts on their prey" those that take their misfortunes and use them as a ploy tacit on another's weaken emotions, no, not those, they gets no love from me. Im speaking of those really in their heart committed to make a change for the better. I applaud those, the shit aint easy, especially when you cant see the wrong you did, but something in your heart just cant let them go. That person has impacted your life so much that they were one of the lucky ones to become embedded in your heart, and to cut them out, is to cut a piece of your heart. And yeah you know that time heals all wounds, but who wants to expect a wound coming? However I myself have a closure. Mine is a closure of a what was once a beautiful friendship. It was a tale of 2 misinterpreted individuals who met each others needs like no other. Whatever I needed whether it was a shopping trip or date he was the one to call (using the correct pronoun for the situation). We had dreams that we were gonna help each other to achieve and jealously and hatred reared its ugly head and next thing you know, no calls returned, no text, no nothing. Will we ever be the same if paths ever cross, I know realistically no, but just know I miss you and this open letter is for you, may God send it your way. For those who may have had a falling out with someone and you know damn well it was something you could have gotten past, let me say PRIDE will get your whole life put on the sideline. Because why put off tomorrow what can be done today. Why let something a small and dumb as pride let you loose out on a lifetime friend. Don't ever let the bad outweigh the good, because finding good in people nowadays is finding a needle in a haystack. So just something to think over let this letter inspire you..

Dear Mr. West,

Last night I had a dream man real crazy. It was a dream of deep down how I miss you so much. In my dream I was holding your trans man hand and we were talking and laughing and dancing like we used to. Holding each other oh so close like we used to. Your hearty accent chopping away at my heart like it used to. At work overnight you used to satisfy my insomnia appetite and until the sun came me and you shared our lives our hopes our failures and downfalls with each don't feel right if I do it with another. Because I know somewhere deep inside there is a robe gavel and jury waiting and with you I have no doubt that when we hang up and you call back you still love me no matter what and that's a known fact. But what is unknown is where the future lies, will our paths cross again or is this the year our friendship has died. And if it is not written in Gods plans than so be it but pray for me because this lost will be particularly hard because all ever wanted was you me and our unbreakable bond under some island stars...I'm sorry...ttyl...or goodbye.

Peace and Blessings
Swagg P

"Buzzworthy Cravings, Creatively Satisfied!"

Sunday, December 13, 2015


iGrind because God grants me a new opportunity to do so everyday he wakes me up
iGrind because I have future generations that will be affected by my current decisions
iGrind because I never want to see another bad day if I don't have to
iGrind for those who couldn't find a better way in enough time
iGrind for those whose light was dimmed way too soon.
iGrind for those who will soon carry my namesake
iGrind for those paying with their lives for our race sake (moment of silence)
iGrind because this is what I have been taught since I was small
Either go for it all, or don't go for it at all...

Peace and Blessings
Swagg P

"Buzzworthy Cravings, Creatively Satisfied!"

Friday, December 4, 2015

End of The Year Purge Prt. 1 (Poetry Flow)

  All I ever wanted anyone to see is that I am a woman. I am a woman who loves love, in any form. I am a woman who love the love I receive from God on daily basis from the time he awakens me until the time I slumber and grants me the mercies of a brand new day. Even when I don't always do right he still love me. I don't have to pretend to be anyone else but me with him, and yet unconditional love still exist.

  The love from a mother to a daughter. The "No matter what you do you are my child" kind of love. The "You love who you love and I still love you" kind of love. The late night hospital visits, the moments that scared you and you prayed to God for him to spare your child's life love. The we can praise and worship together love, that real best friends til the end type love.

  The warmth of family and loved ones "Glad to see you" kind of love, the "I'm so proud of you" love, the "I look to you and up to you" love. The "I know you always got my back" love, the feeling when all ya people in one place chilling love. Where have you been or the I'm sorry kinda love. Even those who spew evil lies and unnecessary false statements continuously from the moment they wake up until the moment they lay their head to sleep, guess what, that's love too, just an alternative way of showing it I guess.

  The love that I yet long for is that wake up in the morning and lay down at night with you for life  love. Out of nowhere let's take a trip love. That I ride, we ride kinda love. It's a we us our thing and get still hold your own kind of love. The "We refuse the see the bottom" type love. That I want to be here kind of love, I will fight for you kind of love. I will never give up on you, I'm never too far kind of love. I'm gonna love you through your pain and do my best to never cause you pain kind of love. That when we are old and gray that you will promise me that you will look into my eyes and see the person you first met and fall in love with me all over again, for the rest of your Just, Love.

The Rhythm of My Heart

Peace and Blessings
Swagg P

"Buzzworthy Cravings, Creatively Satisfied!"

Saturday, November 28, 2015

3 Month Dating Holiday Rules

I'm always coming to you guys with blogs that inform and leave a message on your minds and heart. Well this entry is what i like to call funny/serious and this is for those who like myself has met someone and have recently started dating. Now here comes the holidays and your are thinking in your head "Finally someone to answer the question, so are you dating?" and then you wish a large spotlight shines down on your date and a background announcer introduces him or her. Yeah that would be great, but there is this thing called reality that may not let that scenario happen. So here are some of my tips on 3 month dating and holidays:


                                    3 Month Dating Holiday Rules

1. Gifts are appreciated, they are appreciated more when you pick on something through general conversation that they may have mentioned they wanted, so be attentive.

2. Do not leave kids out, you knew they came with kids after a few conversations be as godly as possible and take car of the kids and the elderly please geesh. (Only if asked to be a participant)

3. We will have our own SEPARATE Christmas I wont merge you into my dysfunction any earlier than 6 months tops, gives you time to build your tolerance level and possibly mine because only God knows whats going on with your people (insert no shade here)

4. For those with the over-achiever spirit now is a time to put it away because it is the most small simple intimate moments that make the best memories, so don't go get a big ass tree and a dancing Santa when its just you and them tone it down.

5. Invites are acceptable if that person has no family or no place to go, show kindness God will smile on you for it.

6. Don't volunteer too much information too soon, you are not at a interview stage point in your relationship there is no need to submit work info, gym info, etc. that's how pop ups happen NOPE!

7. Most importantly don't start making wedding plans after one successful holiday you make plans after the 3rd horrific dysfunctional one if you haven't left by then you wont be leaving face it.

Now I'm no expert so by all means you don't have to follow these particular rules however, I have lived and learned and it comes with experience. But if you feel as if hell maybe you have tried it all and why not try one more thing...just thank me later....just kidding!

Peace and Blessings,
Swagg P

"Buzzworthy Cravings, Creatively Satisfied!"

Friday, November 20, 2015

Verbal and Cyber Homicide

     I believe the old saying goes "What you eat don't make me shit", meaning what you have going on has absolutely nothing to do with anything I have going on. Yet it seems as if social media and over heated emotions has made it available for other to state opinion and abrasively place their distaste of others life decisions. Cyber bullying is the act or harming or harassing via any type of information technology (computer, laptop, cell phone, tablet/IPad). According to U.S. Legal Definitions, cyber-bullying could be limited to a person spreading rumors or gossips about a person on the internet bringing about hatred in other's minds; or it may go as far as personally identifying victims and publishing materials that may cause severe damage to their character and humiliating them. Now

      Cyber-bullying became the focus when young teenagers would get online whether it be chat rooms or social media sites (Myspace) and basically say anything they wanted with no consequences behind it, mind it I said TEENAGERS someone will catch that later however I digress. However I have witness a large  portion of adults forming on the same platforms now (Facebook now gives you the option to set up your own "groups") as well as other social media outlets and truly fulfilling the true definition of "cyberbullying". I have personally witness some things so horrendous on my TL and I sit and what other find entertaining my first thought is "Where is that person's mind frame right now". I say that because 1 in 4 adults which is approximately 61.5 million Americans alone suffer from some sort of mental disorder or illness with only a 25% of them actually knowing and recognizing it. I also know because I am one in that 61.5 million. So whenever I see it I have now learned not to even look and follow the entertainment, that is even worse, because lets just say this embarrassment was the last one that this person could take. Because you never fully know what all a person truly has going on in their life what if this social media spectacle was all that they could bare and the only way they see out is death. Because the truth is suicide is the tenth leading cause of death in the U.S. (more common than homicide) and the third leading cause of death for ages 15 to 24 years. Also Proverbs 18:21 states "Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and those that love it shall eat the fruit therof. Now is where my title become full circle. The moment that you get online, no the moment the thought comes in your head on what you plan to say and or do to bring this persons character and self esteem down to its complete lowest you are in the act of committing verbal and cyber homicide.

                   Here is where my confusion comes in and also my unwarranted opinion. The simple question is WHAT IN THE ENTIRE HELL DOES IT HAVE TO DO WITH YOU? No, seriously. I mean can you take this person business or embarrassment and go to your leasing office and drop it off and say "Hey here's Jane Doe's business is that enough for this month rent?" You can not call you local light company up and say "Hey did you know Bobby XYZ did this, ok does this take of my balance?" Each and every time guaranteed they person on the other end is going so to say and followed by a very confused look. You gained 0.00 extra on your check for tearing down someone, you gain NOTHING. It also make me wonder what issues as an adult have you not worked out from your childhood, yes childhood because your behavior is that of a child. The overwhelming part about it is, this behavior is coming from adults with kids, who are doing nothing but raising another generation of verbal and cyber homicidal people. I ask beg and plead, when does this cycle end? When will we go back to the days of using social media for its actual intent, to be social with family friends that you don't have immediate contact with. I am pretty sure it was create with the intent to unify instead its causing people to loose their lives. Can we please take back social media for its actual intent, uplift and not destroy is the key.


Peace and Blessings
Swagg P

"Buzzworthy Cravings, Creatively Satisfied!"

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

October Is LGBT History Month: Know Your History

So October is National LGBT History month, and I think it's important to know and honor those who have made the way possible to the freedom and right that we have today. This year one of the biggest accomplishments we as a community received was the right to get legally married in all 50 states. However, I decided to focus more on the African-American community because we as a community have contributed a large amount in the LGBT history. Here are just a few of them:

                                                              Alice Walker 

Writer  Alice Walker earned a Pulitzer Prize for her novel The Color Purple, which went to film. It stayed in theaters for 21 weeks and grossed over 142 million dollars worldwide. As a civil rights activist she walked in the 1963 March on Washington and volunteered to register black voters in Georgia and Mississippi. 

                                                                    Bayard Rustin

Black civil right activist Bayard Rustin not only was an adamant supporter of gay rights, he also was Martin Luther King Jr.'s advisor and personal secretary. Rustin helped organize the 1963 March on Washington.

Patrik Ian Polk

Patrik Ian Polk is and openly gay film director who is known for his films on the African American LGBT experience and relationships. Polk's 2008 film "Noah's Ark: Jumping The Broom" won a GLAAD Award for Best Feature Film and was nominated for 3 NAACP awards.

E Lynn Harris

E. Lynn Harris was best known for his writing, which explored African American men who were closeted or on the "down-low." After quitting his job as a computer salesmen Harris discovered his his passion for writing. He sold his first self-published novel, Invisible Life, out of the trunk of his car. 10 out of his 11 novels made The New York Times Best Seller list. 

A long-time fixture in the New York nightlife community, RuPaul rose to prominence with his hit single and music video "Supermodel (Of The World)" in 1993. Credited as the master of transformation, his career is still going strong with the success of his hit reality show "RuPaul Drag Race and the history makers don't end here.

Wanda Sykes- Emmy award-winning comedian, first African-American woman and openly gay entertainer at the White House Correspondent's Association dinner in 2009. 
Bruce Nugent- writer, painter of the Harlem Renaissance his first short story "Smoke, Lilies, and Jade" was the first publication by an African American that openly discussed homosexuality.
Kye Allums- the first Division I openly transgender athlete in NCAA sports history. Kye is currently an transgender advocate and founder of Project I Am Enough dedicated to self-love and self-definition for everyone.

There are so many more on a daily basis making history. Some that don't always get the spotlight.  It is important to know as well as share the history and knowledge to acknowledge and know how far we have to go. If you are someone you know may need different LGBT resources here are some below: (domestic violence) (coming out) (history) (shelters)

Peace and Blessings,

"Buzzworthy Cravings, Creatively Satisfied!"

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

I Survived: My Story of How I Got Away

This month is Domestic Violence Awareness month. For those who do not have a clear definition, Domestic Violence is an act of violence or abuse against someone living in the one's household, immediate family and/or significant other. October is a month that is important to over 10 million people within the U.S.  It is a known fact that every 9 seconds in the U.S. a woman has been assaulted or beaten. 1 in 4 men have been assaulted by their significant other at least once in their lifetime, and that is just the beginning.

With current situations such as Ray Rice, Chad "Ocho Cinco" Johnson, Chris Brown, our African American women experience an overwhelming amount of domestic violence versus any other race on the planet. "The number one killer of African-American women between the ages of 15-34 is homicide at the hands of a current or former intimate partner. "African American males experienced domestic violence about 2.5 or 62% more than any other race."  Many have a hard time recognizing the signs, whether it be because this is what is familiar to them. Over 75% of the cases involve people who have seen domestic violence first while growing up, both verbal and physical. Some may suffer from inner self-esteem issues, or have never been shown real love. Whatever the situation was ABUSE OF ANY KIND IS NEVER ACCEPTABLE! Some may not be able to see the signs hence the metaphorical phrase "Love is blind", however let me just give a few examples from

1. Feel afraid of your partner much of the time?
2. Does your partner humiliate or yell at you often?
3. Do you avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?
4. Convinces you that you deserve to be hurt of mistreated?
5. Controls where you go and who you talk to even family?
6. Hurts you, or threaten yo hurt or kill you?
7. Have a bad and unpredictable temper?

These are signs that I myself have been guilty of. Around 2009, I met a young lady online. Now not that I have a particular type but it's something about a woman the color of sunshine that seems to blind me sometime. My gosh, from the first message exchanged I was hooked, slightly curious on who sent her, but hooked none the less. The first was great I went to visit while she was at work, which means I knew she was employed. We talked and as the typical girl meets girl fairy tale, it wasn't a moment I wasn't talking to her or seeing her. Waited a month (her choice) before intimacy happened, but when it did, well let's just say I wasn't going anywhere. Four months passed by and she was tired of the back and forth and frankly so was I so I went to go live with her. I packed up all my belongings said adios madre and left.

Wow I cant describe the first 3 months of living with her. We went to work I usually got home before her so i would cook, lay clothes out after he bath, uniform ironed, the all around housewife. We quickly exchanged the I love you's and were progressing forward. Even with her heterosexual male roommate we were happy, Ill get to the roommate in a moment. Then we talked about kids and I always imagined being a mother to a child of my own. So with her job insurance we tried. After the second time we stopped for a while, financial reason, then is when the storm began brewing. So after I then get a better paying job 2 months after we try it again. Whelp 3rd time was definitely a charm, I noticed how late I was and well we had finally did it. Bliss, pure bliss we were in love, she was letting her sides and groupies go (she had a lot of thot-trap pics so they were constantly in her inbox) we were focusing on us, went house hunting then it happened.

Her best friend lost his job and had no where to go so guess who we were roommates again. I personally didn't mind because he clearly dating other women, no harm no foul right? About the second week in the house I went from a call center to Wendy's the distance was impossible because we had then moved to Katy so I had to get it how I live. By this time the arguments had begun because she felt I wasn't looking for a better job money was stretched and by this time she got "hurt" on her job so she is just at home collecting workers comp. Then it went from words to fist, then from fist to items. To wrap this up after being pushed down a flight of stairs, me loosing my chance as a parent, 4 hospital visits, after putting on a pile of makeup to hide the neck and chest bruises, after loosing more blood than I planned ever, with the cutting of her words as well as me cutting my wrist, the heaviness in her fist after slapping tears off my face, and boldly entertaining other women in our home I was tired. Mind, body, soul tired, with no one to call. She made me part ways with everybody including my mom because "she just want to run your life". I had no one.

So I woke up after sleeping on the floor because that's where she wanted me to stay. I waited until she left, I reached out to the Houston Area Womens Center, they set up a safe place to pick you up and offers shelter for those who need to escape abuse. That day my life changed, that day I no longer volunteered to be a punching bag or a stress reliever or a maid, or baby sitter, I was done looking out for everyone else but me..I WAS TIRED!! What I have given you today is a mere portion of what happened, but this is why this month is important to me. I survived, I ran and never looked back. I thought about the people who still loved me and who told me to never ever let anyone tell you or make you feel worthless when you're really priceless. The physical, mental and emotional process tuh not an easy road. Although many say it gets better, it only gets better when you seek help, professional help, through the ministry, are even within your family you never know what they have been through when you weren't around. I just want you to know, you, the one who is reading this saying "this is what I've been through" I beg of you please seek help. Reach out and you wont have to do it alone. In that shelter that the HAWC sent me to was surrounded with survivors. Telling me there horrific stories but standing confidently now because they made it out alive and sought help. Now I mentioned how I would get back to the "best friend", well her and her best friend were legally married, with a nice little marriage licence. They even lost a child. I would always wonder why her mom was always looking for her and I was always the "friend". Now I'm not a naive as you may think, there a few black families where they just say "friend" while dating, typically following air quotation marks, and that how my family and her family were so it didn't click.. Anyway, I would tell more but i'll just put it in my book in which i hope to publish soon. I did however wanted to share this poem, I wrote a lot throughout my relationship to help keep busy and stay out her way. I wrote because the paper was the only thing that listened and didn't hit me back when they disagree.

                                                        Killing Me Softly


If you or someone you know is currently or has been a victim of domestic violence here are a few resources where its free and confidential:

Peace and Blessings

"Buzzworthy Cravings, Creatively Satisfied!"

Monday, September 28, 2015

Horny and Healthy: How Sex Can Improve A Woman's Overall Health

    I'm back and I'm here to tell you, ladies you better get you some, no really you should. What I mean by some which some of you may have already figured out I mean SEX, SEXUAL RELATIONS, LOVE MAKING, BED ROCKING, and the many many other names for this particular action. If you remember in a previous blog I mention that the FDA approved a new drug called Addyi, which is the female version of Viagra. Surveys says an estimated 8 to 14% of women between the ages of 20-49 suffer from hypo active sexual desire which is approximately 5.5 to 8.6. million women in the U.S. The F.D.A. stated that the drug was approved for women who has lost their sexual drive due to "marked distress" or "interpersonal difficulty" and not for the use for those who suffer from a lower sexual drive due to medication side affects, illness (depression or mood disorders), or relationship problems, check out Well for those that may not need that assistance or even for those that do here are a few facts on the benefits of having sex for women:

1. Less stress- At least 1 out of  Americans admit that they deal with a great amount of stress everyday. Whether it is dealing with job, home life, finances stress is sometimes unavoidable. Researchers from the University of West of Scotland reveals that people who have sex at least once every 2 weeks were able to manage stressful situations. That is because endorphin and Oxycontin are released during sex, and these feel-good hormones are what get the active pleasure center in your brain up and going which brings intimacy and relaxation. Also research shows that women who were directly exposed to semen were less likely to be depressed. There are mood-altering hormones that are present in semen can be absorbed through the vagina. Some include but are not limited to Prolactin and natural anti-depressant and Oxytocin which assist in enhancing one's mood and serotonin, a widely known antidepressant neurotransmitter. In return help keeps anxiety and depression away, and who wants either one of those, I mean honestly. **Added bonus #1 the cowgirl position and upstanding are the top two position where results has shown to be better**

2. Sleep Aid- Many have used the line or went into the bedroom with the goal "I'm about to put that ass to sleep" maybe not verbatim in those words but you get it. However here is the type of sex that you need to aim for to achievement says Cindy M. Meston, Ph.D., the director of the Sexual Psychophysiology Lab at The University of Texas at Austin (GO LONGHORNS). During an orgasm a hormone Prolactin is released. "Prolactin levels are naturally higher when we sleep which suggests a strong relationship between the two," So here is the key the more active your are during sex, like the night you wanted to try every position possible you really just energize yourself even more, slow and steady is the key to a good nights rest, thank me later. **Added bonus #2 The Flat Iron position is some that is simple position as well as fulfilling definitely a sleeper move**

3. Pain Reliever- Don't have any Advil or Aleeve around, but your mate is available, BOOM the solution is right there and wont cost you a dime. The endorphin that are released during and orgasm are similar to the feeling of morphine, yes morphine and immediately relieves pain. Now lets just say your mate is unavailable, you can do this all by yourself and get the same results. **Added bonus #3 The position Valedictorian can be done with or without a partner, but its better with an added person**

4.Cold Medicine- No wants to be touched when they are sick with a cold, I mean who feels attractive when they are sick. Your immune system is fight a whole war on the inside and you look like you have been to war on the outside. Well here is a little prevention method that can prevent all of that. Researchers at Wilkes University have found that people who have sex were found to have higher levels of a antibody called immunoglobulin which helps the body combat dieases and keeps the body safe from colds and flu. So as fall and winter approach and the cold and flu season comes around I suggest you get that immunoglobulin up and going or be stuck on the couch. **Added bonus #4 Enjoy some champagne while trying out the champagne room position hell while listening to a lil ChampagnePapi (that's Drake by the way)***

5. Fountain Of Youth- There are so many products out now for skin aging too many to keep up. However a panel taken in Scotland showed that women who were sexually active at least 4 times a week on average were perceived to be 7 to 12 years younger than their actual age. Regular sex increases the release of hormones, including testosterone and estrogen which keeps the body looking youthful and flawless. Also there are many anti aging products out now however the real fountain of youth comes from a very natural and free resource, yes ladies I am talking about sperm. In sperm is a crystalline polyamine compound called Spermine which is also considered an antioxidant. It is believed to diminish wrinkles, smooth skin, and help with taming or preventing acne.  According to BioForSkining the cream Spremine is 30 times more effective than Vitamin E and can delay the process of aging by 20%. So the next time you stop to go shop for your facial cream which on average goes for 80$ and over. Just think about and reconsider it might get you closer to something else fabulous you can buy for yourself. **Added bonus #5 There are a variety of tasty lubes to help with the process**

6. Lighter Periods and Less Cramps- Now ladies as we all know the monster we call the menstrual cycle can be what seems like the death of you. Bloating, cramps, mood swings, the time of the month where we transition into a totally different person. However, "When a woman orgasms, her uterus contracts and, in the process rids the body of cramp causing compounds." explains Meston. The increased number of uterine contractions can also help blood and tissue flow more freely which ends the period more quickly. Although it doesn't seem appealing because you automatically think what a mess. However if you place down a dark towel and stick only to the missionary position because when laying down the flow is lighter, and nothing has to stop your sexual schedule, well unless you have an unwilling participant and then is so, solo it is for you. **Added bonus #6 Stick to missionary for the sake of your sheets**

Last but not least

7. What a Hellva Way To Work Out: As you know sex is #2 on the charts for cardio. Sex can burn up to 85 to 250 calories per session (depending on the session length) and is also good for sculpting. been wanting to get rid of the pooch ladies, fella is you 6 pack no longer at 6, get to sexing. Not only are you working on your heart you are also working on your back, butt, and thighs. So skip the spin class, skip the treadmill, and find your partner and burn those calories in a more fun and exciting way. **Added bonus #7 the more positions you try the more calories you burn***

So now that I have given you 7 fabulous reason to have sex, go have some for goodness sake. However let's not be reckless in the process remember:
1. Safe sex is the best sex
2. Don't be afraid to have it with yourself you will get the same results
3. Do it at your own time and pace, no pressure

Peace and Blessings,
Swagg P

"Buzzworthy Cravings, Creatively Satisfied!"

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Battle of the Sexes...of the Same Sex

I start this entry off with the love of God in my heart and the education of my own experiences just a slight disclaimer before I began. Now I have noticed this strange activity in any given place, whether it be a store, restaurant, public parks, and often in clubs or party settings. When another stud and/or masculine centered female or a femme and/or girly female enters into stated places have you found yourself maybe adjusting your collar or refreshing gloss does something deep down inside moves and feels the need to refresh themselves because competition has entered? I feel we are more territorial beings than we are willing to admit. Many can say "I'm comfortable with who I am" or "I dont do that" but whether it has been subconsciously or out of habit, we at one point felt in some form we had to prep for competition. Now by all means this is not just an LBGT community it is a common problem amongst humans period, however I focused with my community. Now my hopes for this blog is to get just a few questions answered:

                 1. Is there an underline issue that people refuse to acknowledge?
                 2. Is it really that hard to admit that someone looks better?
                 3. For those who are in relationship, why are you so uncomfortable in your relationship                           where you feel threatened?

Now some may say well those questions are just like unsolved mysteries, things that will never have an answer to, but you know it doesn't have to be that way if you would be honest. For the sake of this piece I'll start. I have and sometimes slip back into a competitive spirit. If I haven't been seen in said setting in a while I go out my way to be presentable. As someone who has played a few roles within the nightlife what once was a place to come to party and release the stress of the week has slowly became mini fashion shown unbeknownst. Now this is no current trend in the song from the great O'Jays Livin' For The Weekend he states "I put on my glad rags and hit the town"  now you have songs such as "I'mma hurt'em with a fit that cost a little more residence" (Gucci, Loius, Prada, Twista) which give folks these false pretense goals that they now have to go buy these labels to "stunt" on someone for a total of about 4 hours or so, and one thing I will mention is stunting leads to death sooner or later, but I digress. My question is once the club closes, and you got enough gas to maybe make it to the nearest relative house in hopes they will let you in and give you enough gas money to get home. All to hope on your way home you pray your lights are still on because you are wearing and slept in your light bill. Where do you go from there? When you got all dolled up and spent your child's daycare all for not to even get a "hey your cute", does that cause emptiness? Where does this Alpha attitude come from, and how far does it get you in life?  Now hear me out, back in my youth I felt that need. I felt that at the end of the day if I left with one hook up or a compliment my job was complete. I was in, I was "that girl"...that was until someone who didn't break a sweat buying the outfit she had on that cost my entire attire came in and then the stage light dimmed, and I had to follow the routine as I stated before going to my mama house in hopes she don't cuss me out about not managing my money. After a while however I realized that the comfort I feel knowing my bills are paid, and I have gas, and I have food and that my life goals was more deserving than those pair of shoes or that gorgeous dress, so then I started investing in myself where I know I will get financial gain and all the praise from the right people. Those people who believed in me from day 1, that is where my satisfaction lies. Fashion and fame will always be forever changing so I then start thinking "when it's my time, there will be an ensemble waiting for me." Let me say this if fashion is your passion this aint yes aint for you, follow your dreams we need continuous future designers in rotation, this is for those who try hard to mirror the hottest celebrity styles without that celebrity income, again digress.

Moving on, for those in relationship, it's ok because I know you're reading this alone its ok to say, yeah I do grab my mate a little closer when another lesbian woman enters the room, its the alpha in you or whatever lie or reason you feed yourself. However if you have a stable relationship where you know you have this person mind heart and soul then what is your purpose? If any intimidation comes over me when I'm with my mate then guess what we need to have a talk when we get home because somehow there is still some uncomfort in the relationship. I've heard a million times "The same thing you did to get her is what you need to do to keep her" I've also heard "They way you got her is the same way you will loose her". Which then leads me to think that you know karma is waiting on yo ass at tha doe!! If you live right though you worry less. When searching for real love you have to know that there is a risk each and every time you fall, the key is to find that one worth the risk and once yo do, the fear of anyone else coming between is long gone. It is only when yo know that you are not doing right by the code and ethics of love does worry come about. When is the last time you and your mate had a soul touching conversation? Where you and your partner sat and bared your soul, each others fears, each others goals, each others passions. These are some of the conversations that can be had to get rid of the alpha attitude and start being in a relationship of equal balance, where you both can come out in the same grace and style of queens and king, or queens and queens or which ever title suits your situation. So next time a female walks in take a moment, stop, breathe, and remind yourself that your queen is by your side and because of our deep conversation and deep connections nobody can tear that apart.

I end this extended rant and public service announcement to ask, what are you doing for your self to get more comfortable with you. The more you find comfort in yourself, nothing or no one else can move that. Let's leave the alpha title to the heterosexual men who still as adults cant get it right. Lets act accordingly please, as a solid unified group of individuals who should be setting examples of what true love is about. Let's open this discussion, I am open to all opinion, comments, questions, concerns hit me up at I would like to hear more from my readers.

Peace and Blessings
Swagg P

"Buzzworthy Cravings, Creatively Satisfied!"

Monday, September 7, 2015

Don't Let Me Get Me

This week begins a very important week for many Americans, this week starts the National Suicide Prevention Week. The World Suicide Prevention Day is Tuesday September 10, however AAS (American Association of Suicidology) and several other organizations offers a week long of different events to really get the message out. There are over 200 classified forms of mental illness which often leads to suicide. Here are a few known facts about suicide:

                    1. Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death among young people..
                    2. There is 1 suicide for every 25 attempts
                    3. Suicide amongst males is 4 times higher than amongst females
                    4. Poisoning is the most common method of suicide by females
                    5. 1 in 100,00 children ages 10-14 die by suicide each year


I think that we as Americans have definitely progressed as far as offering outlets and starting different trends (NoRIP, STOMP Out Bullying, It Gets Better Project etc.), however there is plenty more work to be done. Victims of Cyber Bullying are 2 to 9% likely to commit suicide than those who do not access the internet. Many teens and even adults sometimes don't realize the signs, or know the signs but for different reason don't seek to get help. Some are frightened by just the thought of it, they hear the word "doctor" or "physiologist" and automatically think money and finance because the free sources aren't advertised enough. There is also the aspect of culture or religious reason in which someone doenst seek help. In Asia mental health is shunned and frowned upon. American Indians some recognize mental illness and some of them only recognize certain ones. I myself came from a very religious family in which you "pray it" away, what I didnt realize until I got older is that God placed those who help with mental illness for a reason. It was then where I started to seek help to now know that I have been diagnosed as a manic depressive as well as anxiety.

                                                   I cope with it day by day. I am currently on 2 different medications one is to maintain my depression and the other for anxiety purposes. A few of my family recognized the signs, but not many families are that fortunate, here are a few signs that you friend/loved one is struggling with a mental illness:

                                       1. Confused thinking
                                       2. Feelings of extreme highs and lows
                                       3. Social withdrawal
                                       4. Growing inability to cope with daily problems and activities
                                       5. Dramatic changes in eating or sleeping habits

                           Here is my advice as a person who currently sufferers :
                                      1. When someone asks whats wrong don't be afraid to share if they took a                                                    moment to ask you that means they care enough about you to help.
                                      2. Learn family history, you never know who you will be able to reach out to                                             just within your family.
                                     3.  Nothing is wrong about getting treatment for your mental illness don't let                                               anyone shame you to feel otherwise.
                                     4.  Google different free resources that will help with your mental illness they                                            are out there safe and confidential
                                     5.  You are not alone

For those who may be interested I will be participating in the 2015 Walk For Mental Heath Houston taking place October 10 sign up on site for 6:30 am the walk starts at 8am feel free to join my team I am looking for active participants as well as donations

Join team We Kare as we help end the stigma of Mental Illness.

Peace and Blessings
Swagg P

"Buzzworthy Cravings, Creatively Satisfied!"

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Introducing Addyi, To Help Stella Get Her Groove Back

                     On yesterday yet another medical breakthrough was made by introducing Addyi, the first prescription drug on the market to help WOMEN sexual drive. Yes, you read right, it is the female version of Viagra and it has been approved by the F.D.A. For those who are unaware on exactly Viagra is (which who doesn't know about it, but just in case) it is a medication for men who suffer from erectile dysfunction that help with the stamina during sex (you must already be erect it just helps you continue along). Surveys says an estimated 8 to 14% of women between the ages of 20-49 suffer from hypoactive sexual desire which is approximately 5.5 to 8.6. million women in the U.S. The F.D.A. stated that the drug was approved for women who has lost their sexual drive due to "marked distress" or "interpersonal difficulty" and not for the use for those who suffer from a lower sexual drive due to medication side affects, illness (depression or mood disorders), or relationship problems.

                                      The critics seem to be at an even split when it comes to support. Those who are Pro-Addyi stated that it's been well overdue. How men have over 2 dozen options that help increase their sex drive and that Addyi is just the start. The F.D.A originally rejected this twice, due to the lack of effectiveness and the side effects. Once finally coming together with Sprout Pharmaceuticals it shows that a compromise was made after both camps feuded over this for years. . Now just as any medication there are side affects which are: Low blood pressure or fainting, especially when taken with alcohol, nausea, drowsiness, dizziness and a slight loss in appetite in the beginning. Leonore Tiefer, a psychologist and sex therapist states "This is not a drug you take an hour before sex. You have to take it for weeks and months in order to see in benefits at all."  However company trials has shown that women who have taken it reported one extra "sexually satisfying event" per month (this is the point that had me sold by the way) and scored higher on questionnaires measuring sexual desires. The drug will be launched in mid-October and women with insurance can expect to pay between 30$ to 75$ a month for Addyi depending on the terms of their insurance coverage.

                       Personally, this is yet another step in women's equality. I'm not for sure if I will be an active participant of this but hey who know what I will need by the age of 40 (all jokes). However I do feel as if this definitely a great options for those women who just want their groove back so to speak. What I am not so excited about is that for every original there will always be an off brand to follow and that is where my concern comes in. Although you take this risk for each drug approved by the F.D.A I feel this one is going to cause a little trouble. I'm optimistic so who knows I definitely see a part 2 to this come October, so stay tuned.

"Buzzworthy Cravings, Creatively Satisfied!"

Monday, August 17, 2015

Straight Outta Responsibility: When Will We Educate Our Own

So as the movie Straight Outta Compton has hit movie theaters many have already expressed their reviews. The movie grossed 56.1 million which means there was plenty to say about it. Majority have given it rave reviews however that's not everyone. My best friend tagged me in a very interesting review on Facebook where one young man felt as if N.W.A were not the evolutionist that the community has made them out to be but actual sell outs. This came stemming from another blogger.  He states while there were multiple rap groups promoting to end violence such as Public Enemy and Boogie Down Productions between the mid to late 1980's you had the group N.W.A (Niggaz With Attitude) who were pushing a different agenda, the agenda of those looking to destroy the black community. When the group formed with Easy-E and their manager Jerry Heller it is stated that out of the gate the group was formed to overthrow conscious hip-hop with gangsta-ism and that's something they took pride in.
                     Songs such as "Fuck the Police" and "Gangsta Gangsta" focused on things that we are currently all to aware of and that's racial profiling and police brutality. Which eventually was given the title of gangsta rap or "reality rap" as N.W.A called it. It was reality to them because this is exactly what their environment was filled with, drug invested neighborhoods, crime, and little to no respect for woman, so this was real life for them. It was this form of rap that the blogger feels as was "black genocide" because they chose to highlight their environment. For me this is where I feel different. I agree listening to N.W.A puts you in automatic "gangsta" mode, ready to go out and demolish every dirty cop on the street, but lets be honest with the current events happening lately, we didn't need assistance on it. I agree music is the influence of life however it doeskin have to be. I don't understand how this one particular group is the entire reason why our community is still the same.  At what point of time do we stop putting the blame on everyone else but us.

                                     Now please don't take that statement wrong, we as African-Americans are NOT responsible for the unnecessary killing of our young black me and women, but does N.W.A have the answer or is responsible for coming up with a solution, It would be different if they presented themselves as a black conscious rap group, however out the gate they stated their style "gangsta" or "reality" rappers. The blogger then begins to say that "instead of spending our money supporting the movie we should be buying books about the Black Panther party and other revolutionist who really stood up for police brutality." What i think the blogger is missing is that each revolutionist did not go down without a fight, a bloody fight at that. The Black Panther party chanted things such as "The Revolution has come, its time to pick up the gun, off the pigs". While N.W.A had quotes such as "And when I finished, it's gonna be a bloodbath, of cops dying in L.A. (in which the Black Panther movement started in Oakland), similar much. However this what you want us to reference.

                                      To end this I want to state my stance and possibly offer a better solution. This education has to start somewhere and what better place to start than at home. Home is the start of how you will eventually live your future years. You don't have to be a product of your environment, I went to college, currently working the career that makes me happy and getting money the legal way, so all is not lost. I was able to accomplish this with a mom who encouraged and pushed me to be better than what is around you. I live in the drug invested neighborhoods. I have went to the schools where educational materials were short and teachers who were just on the clock for a check not concerning themselves with educating our youth. My mother made me aware of those things and goals outside of that environment and daily I fight to strive for better. That doesn't make me in less aware of the constant misdoing against the lower class community. If anything I want to do all that I can to educate with the knowledge I know and spread it abroad. Is it my responsibility? As long as I have a mother who still stay in the same neighborhood, as long as I have 2 black nephews, and as long as I wake up every morning, yes. However I refuse to let what is played on the radio be the expectation of what our future can follow, because you have current artist such as Young Thug who has stated that he is only doing this to make money. I will do what i can, I will research day and night, I will memorize what is within my legal right and then I will go out there to spread the knowledge to others. I will take responsibility and NOT place it in the hands of others. I wont just talk about it but be about it, and that is how the "black genocide" can end by the faithful saying "if you want something done right, do it yourself."

Peace and Blessings
Swagg P

"Buzzworthy Cravings, Creatively Satisfied!"

Thursday, July 23, 2015

I Will End The Mental Illness Stigma

In light of recent events surrounding the tragic death of Sandra Bland, the focus on mental illness is stronger than ever. Despite the various types of mental health services many still don’t know where to turn for help leaving them to battle it alone. There are over 50 different mental illnesses and over an estimated 61 million people from at least one of these illnesses daily. Mental Illness Awareness Week (MIAW) was established in 1990 by the U.S. Congress in recognition of efforts by the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) to educate and increase awareness about mental illness. It takes place every year during the first full week of October. During this week, mental health advocates and organizations across the U.S. join together to sponsor a variety of events to promote community outreach and public education concerning mental illnesses such as major depressive order, bipolar disorder, and schizophrenia. Different events during the week include art/music events, educational sessions provided by healthcare professionals, advertising campaigns, health fairs, movie nights, candlelight vigils, and benefit runs. I had the wonderful opportunity during Houston Pride celebration to meet and briefly chat with C Patrick McIlvain the founder and director of The Walk For Mental Awareness Houston. So of course when he so graciously obliged for a brief interview I jumped on it quick fast and in a hurry. Check out his interview below. 

#1: So tell me how the walk even came about?  
The Walk for Mental Health Awareness - Houston aka The Walk Houston came out of The Walk to Washington D.C. for Depression Awareness - October 7, 2010. We are a fundraising venue for Houston area non-profits that offer mental health services/support to their clients. It is the walkers who do the actual fundraising by asking their friends, family members, and network of associates to sponsor them to take part in the walk. Through our first four walks we have raised & returned to our "Walk With A Purpose" Teams $72,000.00. We do retain 10% for process/handling fees. And if you have a "friendly" dog - we are a all welcoming Dog friendly walk if on a leash & you pick-up after. We even have the "Pup Tent" just for doggies. Somehow I was guided to the website for this walk from St. Louis to Washington D.C. 
When I read some of the personal stories that folks posted - it felt like I had just discovered a large lost section of my family. I know then that I had to be a part of this walk somehow someway. I know that I could not be gone from Houston & my volunteer commitments for the entire duration of the 80 day walk but I could be part of the last four day. So I was able to get some of my very good friends to sponsor me (it was required if 1 wanted to be a part of the last 4 day needed to raise $1,500.00) that I did. When I got to Washington D.C., Steven Curran - the walk originator - asked me if I would be interested in starting a chapter in Houston of The Walk for Depression Awareness......after thinking about it for a couple of nanoseconds I said "YES". Just after the walk to Washington the Board of The Walk for Depression Awareness - St. Louis meet and wanted to be all inclusive of mental health/illness so the name was changed to The Walk for Mental Health Awareness.  The first walk in Houston was held Saturday, October 15, 2011. So our #PositivePublicDialog began as we walk and talk to #EndTheStigma and to #EndTheIndifference to talking about mental illness out in the bright sunlight of day, just where the conservation belongs. It is time that we started #TakingOurDignityBack. 

2: I love how there are 3 days of events can you let people know what they can expect attending each event?  
"3 Day, 1 City A Life Changing Weekend" is how we ID ourselves. It should be noted that we take place during World Mental Health Week, the first full week of October. And most years 1 of our 3 days falls on 10-10th. which is World Mental Health Day. Our first event (our kick-off even) is held on Thursday of WMHW and that is the start of our Positive Public Dialog by illuminating our City Hall lime green (the cause color for mental illness) for 3 nights.This event is free & open to the public. Just join us at City Hall - on the Reflection Pool side. at sunset. Our second event is our Pass It Forward / Positive Public Dialog Luncheon, it is held on Friday of WMHW. This year our guest speaker is Elizabeth McIngvale, PhD., LMSW founder of Peace of Mind Foundation - bring a positive pubic dialog to folks who are challenged with OCD. There is a $30.00 fee to attend the luncheon and tickets can be purchased by going to our website: Our third event is the main event our 5k fun walk with post Mental Health Expo. This year it is on Saturday, October 10, 2015 and held in Stude Park (sometimes called Studewood Park)1031 Stude Street @ Studemont and starts at 8AM. There is a $25.00 registration fee for folks age 12 and up - until day of registration when the fee goes up to $30.00. One can register by going to our website - 

#3: Why is mental health so important?  
Because of these top reasons: 
  1. 1 and 4 adults - approximately 61.5 million American's experiences mental illness in a given year   
  1. About 2.4 million American's live with schizophrenia  
  1. Approximately 6.1 million with bipolar disorder  
  1. 14.8 million with major depression 
  1.  42 million Americans live with social anxiety disorder 
  1. Serious mental illness cost America $193.2 BILLION in lost earnings per year 
  1. Suicide is the 10th leading cause of deaths in the United Stated & expected to become #1 by 2025 
  1. 90% of those who die by suicide had one or more mental disorders 
  1. Although military comprises less than 1% of our population, veterans represent 20% of suicides nationally, about 22 Veterans die each day from suicide. 

4: What advice for those who want to help in being part of our Positive Public Dialog on talking about mental illness but not sure just where to start? 
Start by educating yourself as much as you can about the true facts about living with a mental illness. It is time to stop the 5000 year old social stigma that is still so yoked to us. Look to groups like National Alliance on Mental Health (NAMI), Mental Health America, Depression Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA) - they all have Houston chapters. Join them - support them so their positive public message can be shared far and wide also join The Walk for Mental Health Awareness - Houston. 

This interview was not only delightful but educating. I agree that the stigma of mental illness must be broken. We as a community must stop just sweeping it under the rug or trying to come up with the easiest solution. As a person who suffers from at least 2 of the 50 something mental illness I can say nothing about it is easy. Nothing about the day to day life is ever an easy path. Some days are good but dealing with anxiety and depression such as I do you see more bad days than good. Although currently on a pretty good medicine regiment and I do go to therapy twice a month, that is still a progress versus my history of my battle. It took me so long to have the courage to go and reach out for help because I lived under the stigma of religion (pray it away) or the lack of education within my particular community (African-American) which is rarely discussed. Hence why although personal opinion something still seems strange within the Sandra Bland case, I can share within her mental battle, not exactly but similar. Which is why I am now forming my team for The Walk For Mental Awareness Houston and I am willing ready and able to do my part to end this stigma. Not just for me, not just for Sandra Bland, but those women who don’t get media coverage or young teenage girl that doesn’t know how to handle the pressure and trials that come with being a teenager in America today. For that veteran who can't forget what he saw and experience while going to battle for his or her country. For the first time mom who feels she is parenting all wrong and has little to no help around. For them I will #EndTheStigma don’t forget to visit

Peace And Blessings

"Buzzworthy Cravings, Creatively Satisfied!"